What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize