Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
