while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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