I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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