why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
