I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
