dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
