The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
