Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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