I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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