I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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