I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't deserve a penis
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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