And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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