Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize