I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
