Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
