I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
