I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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