He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
