i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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