the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
