Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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