The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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