If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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