I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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