My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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