pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
