I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
