your parents love me but you hate me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
