im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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