haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
