But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Sober January is a disaster.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
