I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
