First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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