She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
