I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
