fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
