my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
