Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.

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(757): View more from Virginia

they won't let me drive with my sombrero

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(256): View more from Alabama

this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan

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(507): View more from Minnesota

You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night

(815): View more from Illinois

Bouncers are people too...giant angry people

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(314): View more from Missouri

Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.

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(903): View more from Texas

I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?

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(716): View more from New York

Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.

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(305): View more from Florida

I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!

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