She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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