I've blown a few things in my day
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
