I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
