I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
wow bdsm is so cute
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
