Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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