just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
