I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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