Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
