You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize