Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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