4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
