That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize