I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
