she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
