the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
