Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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