does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
