i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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