...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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