i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
