you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
