Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
