SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
