Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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