I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
