how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
