he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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