you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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